tMF | The Movie-Fanatic

"Every single thing about this movie is lazy. The poster, the characters, the story, the… hold on, yep, I just threw up a little."

- - -

- - -

Earlier this week I posted a Top Five list of the Best Movies of 2008… so far. For the most part, people seem to agree with the list (although there are lot of Cloverfield haters out there…) People agreed for a pretty simple reason; there haven’t been a lot of great movies coming out this year. Probably more seasonality than anything, but they have been few and far between. So in the interests of fair and balanced reporting, it’s only right to present the other, uglier side of the coin. I actually had a lot more trouble narrowing down this list to only five. There have been some bad movies so far; some due to failed expectations and some because they were just plain awful. For me, these were the worst of the worst.

tMF Top Five – Worst Movies of 2008… so far
By Jeremy Welsch

"...one of the best superhero movies of the modern age and the most fun you’ll have at the movies this year."

- - -

- - -

We are almost exactly halfway through the year and smack in the middle of the summer movie season. Sounds like as good a time as any to take a step back and grade the movie year thus far. This article was written last week in preparation for the end of the month and wouldn’t you just know it! Pixar had to go and ruin the party! Thanks to WALL*E my list is now in complete shambles. I know it is only June but mark my words, six months from now I will still be talking about WALL*E as one of, if not THE best, movies of 2008. It is a masterstroke of filmmaking, and not only as an animated film. I defy you to come up with a more beautifully shot and wildly romantic live action movie in the last few years. With WALL*E resting quietly atop the list as my favorite movie so far, I decided to leave the rest of the list unedited so you can get a look at the top five other best movies of the year.

tMF Top Five – Best Movies of 2008… so far
By Jeremy Welsch

"... any time you can say Matthew Lillard is the best part of anything, you should know you’re in trouble."

- - -

- - -

We are only one month into the summer movie season and we’ve already had two bad examples of TV shows adapted into feature films: Speed Racer and Sex and the City. While the films themselves haven’t done much for me personally, they have afforded me the opportunity to dig in and see if there were any out there that were worse. Naturally I was able to find some.

tMF Top Five – Worst TV-to-Film Adaptations
By Jeremy Welsch

Wild Wild West (1999) If you are going to adapt a TV show that is described as a science fiction western into a comedy, the least you could do is make it funny. And it shouldn’t take six accredited screenwriters to fail at doing so. True story: I saw this in the theatre on opening weekend and was so glad it was finally over I tried to rush out of the theatre ahead of the crowd by sliding down the railing of the stadium seating. In doing so, I slid faster than I intended into a group of people and fell off the other side roughly ten feet onto another group of people below. How this movie isn’t #1 for that fact alone is beyond me. Bewitched (2005) To be fair, this is more an homage than an adaptation. That little tidbit aside, it was still not a terrible idea. The problem is that it’s just all over the place. It’s too much of a weird story that didn’t pay too much mind to the source material. And the casting could not have been more off the mark. Trying to capitalize on Will Farrell hysteria was as bad an idea as assuming he and Nicole Kidman would have any chemistry whatsoever. Ok, maybe the whole thing was a bad idea. Æon Flux (2005) Adapting high-concept animation into live action is tricky enough as it is, but when the end result is this boring, you wonder why the studio didn’t just cut their losses and release it direct-to-DVD - or not at all. When the only success you have achieved is being able to proclaim that something that came from MTV is better than your finished product, you have fallen into a well so deep that even a scantily clad Charlize Theron can’t pull you out of. And really, isn't that saying something? Scooby-Doo (2002) Besides a computer-generated Scooby, which might be the worst idea since thinking consuming a glass of raw eggs would help me grow muscles as a kid (damn you, Rocky), any time you can say Matthew Lillard is the best part of anything you should know you’re in trouble. At least they didn’t make a sequel. Oh, wait… Miami Vice (2006) It had all the pieces in place to be a great movie. After executive producing the TV show, Michael Mann went on to become one of the more respected directors in Hollywood. Then he decided to revisit old stomping grounds to show the world how adapting a TV show is supposed to be done. It should have been awesome. Instead, everything that made the TV show great was gone and replaced with stars who seemed to think they were too good for the movie they were making. As a result, we all got stuck with the most boring “action” movie in recent memory. Or basically a really poor emo version of Bad Boys.

Got an idea for a Top Five list? Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and your idea could be featured in a future list!

- - -

With only one week to go before the release of Iron Man and the official start of the summer movie season, this week's offering of new releases is understandably light on quality. Really, only two films will be fighting for ticket dollars this weekend. Baby Mama should take care of the female audience and on the other side of the coin we get Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. (Hey, I told you it was a light weekend.) It does, however, provide an opportunity to take a closer look at a hit-or-miss subgenre of comedy – the stoner movie.

The American tradition known as the stoner movie is less concerned about providing movies to get stoned to than showing a day in the life and (high) times of the everyday pot smoker. Thematically, they are all cut from the same cloth: a laid-back group of guys are sent on an arbitrarily ridiculous quest of self-described nobility with their drug of choice taking center stage. More often than not, these movies are awful, even to their target audience, but a lot of them seem to gather a cult following anyway. I guess everything is funnier when you’re high. For the record, The Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon missed the cut… but just barely.

tMF Top Five – Best Stoner Movies
By Jeremy Welsch

"...is the perfect cautionary tale needed for anyone who thinks they can take the house."

- - -

- - -

Las Vegas. There really is nowhere else like it. Having been there many times, people often ask me about the appeal of Vegas and I always say the same thing – it is something you have to experience for yourself. Assuming you can behave relatively responsibly, it is some of the most fun you can have over a weekend. It’s a place where the only rule is that there aren’t any – or at least not in the ‘real world’ sense. A place where your vices may be legal and activities otherwise frowned upon are tolerated with a blind eye. The unrestricted availability of just about anything you’ve ever dreamed of earned Las Vegas the name Sin City, and that makes it the perfect setting for many movies and TV shows. To mark the release of the movie 21, as well as my upcoming trip next week, I present

tMF Top Five – Best Las Vegas Movies
By Jeremy Welsch

"...with the untimely passing of Heath Ledger, the entire tone of the film has shifted."

- - -

- - -

With all the Oscar’s handed out and the award season complete, I’m kind of lost without as much stuff to do. So much so that I literally sat here this week and said, “what now?” There isn’t much else to do but look ahead to what 2008 has to offer. Surely there will be disappointments and surprises like there is every year. I mean, Spider-Man 3 would have been on top of this list last year and we all know how that turned out, right?

There are plenty of other films that I want to see this coming year. While I’ve never been a huge fan of the comic, Iron Man is shaping up to be a great looking summer movie. Then there is Quantum of Solace, The Incredible Hulk, Hellboy II, and a few others. I wouldn’t say these are going to end up being the best five movies of the year, but they seem to be the ones least likely to disappoint. At the very least, the ones with the best chance of outrunning the Spider-Man curse.

tMF Top Five – My Most Anticipated Movies of 2008
By Jeremy Welsch

"His unorthodox style and approach to film narrative is both beautiful and frustrating."

- - -

- - -

tMF continues the weekend leading up to the Oscar’s with this week’s Top Five!

If this list had been made last year, Martin Scorsese would have no doubt been toward the top. But after his sixth nomination, he finally took home the award he had earned so many times before but had eluded him. Now that that injustice has finally been righted we are left with a new crop to fight for the top spot.

Interestingly enough some possible newcomers to this club are nominated this year. The Coen brothers and Paul Thomas Anderson could, years from now, be vying for their first win as well. At the very least, one of them will walk away empty handed tomorrow night.

Some on the list may have been given an honorary or lifetime achievement award, and some may have won in other categories, but none of them have won an Academy Award in the category that made them famous.

tMF Top Five – Best Directors who haven't won an Oscar
By Jeremy Welsch

"...George A. Romero’s feature length debut revolutionized horror by taking if from a genre to an industry."

- - -

- - -

George A. Romero may not have invented the zombie movie, but you cannot question the fact that he revolutionized it. The man has made a career out of terrorizing audiences with all things flesh-eating, and the like.

My personal taste for zombie or horror in general is pedestrian at best. For every one really good one, there are a hundred knock offs that do nothing but embarrass the genre. Today marks the latest entry as George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead hits theatres. What better way to celebrate the genre Romero perfected than to discuss the ones that stand head and shoulders above the rest?

tMF Top Five – Best Zombie Movies
By Jeremy Welsch

"... it is hard to deny the relevancy and appeal of a robotic character that is almost 25 years old."

- - -

- - -

Fictionalized accounts of robots have been in film since the 1930s so the basic  idea of robots in movies isn’t really a novel concept, but we love them all just the same. Who hasn’t thought of having a robot version of themselves to do all the work for them? There is something very Frankenstein-esque about humans building a mechanized version of themselves to perform tasks they aren’t equipped or, more often, not willing to do.

Robots in movies come in all shapes and sizes. They have been depicted as cute and cuddly (Johnny 5 from Short Circuit), not so cute and cuddly (Agent Smith from The Matrix series), or just plain misunderstood (Robocop from, well, Robocop). Whatever they are, they have made for some interesting movie characters in the past. With that in mind, I present:

tMF Top Five – Best Movie Robots
by Jeremy Welsch

E.T. has withstood the test of time. It is the science fiction movie for non science fiction fans. A fantastic story dealing with the simple theme of loss, this was the first film I remember seeing that moved me to tears.

- - -

- - -

We're all list crazy in this business, aren’t we? They're simple to read and are not as arduous as a long-winded essay. That’s not to say that those types of articles don’t have their place, but there's something very satisfying about condensing a bunch of complex information into a simple list that appeals to all of us.

Don’t think so? At tMF alone we had three separate Top Ten Best Movies of 2007 list and as recently as this week, we unveiled the Top 50 Hottest Young Actors. So today tMF is proud to introduce a new weekly section called – what else? – tMF Top Five. Each Friday we'll post a new tMF Top Five. Ever wondered who the Top Five Best Movie Villains are? What about Top Five Animated Movies? Top Five Worst Best Picture Winners? Top Five Classic Movies? Top Five Best Tom Hanks performances? Top Five Best Monster Movies? You get the idea....

tMF wants this section to be an interactive one. If you don’t agree with the selections on the list or think you can make a better one, strike back with comments. If you have an idea for an upcoming list, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and your list could be written up by tMF staff and published with special thanks to the person submitting! All you have to do is register (don’t worry, it’s very fast and very free), then send a list. We look forward to your input.

Enough of the small talk, let’s get to the very first Friday list!

tMF Top Five Best Picture Losers:

By Jeremy Welsch @ tMF